...who happens to be a recovering anorexic. I thought I'd share because it touched me. I hear sh*t like this out in public all the time.


The Grocery Store

There are two women

Standing next to me in

The grocery store.

They are talking

Quite loud

So loud

It’s hard to not hear

Their conversation.

Apparently, they are

Talking about their

Co-worker, who isn’t

Even here.

Woman # 1 bends down

Looking at a can of beans

And says,
‘’Did you see her shirt today?
Her stomach was sticking out’’

Woman # 2 rolls her eyes
And says,
‘’Yah, it was sooo gross’’

Woman # 1 replies,
‘’What does she think, she is
THIN or something?’’

After her cart is filled with

Baked beans and chili co cornea

They pick up their speed and

Stop

In front of the vegetable oils,

Salts and assortment of seasonings.

Their words turned into a broken

Record on automatic repeat.

My heart became erratic.

I could feel it pumping, pulsating,

Pushing it’s way out of my chest

Like how my blood was rushing

To my head.

I stumbled a little closer

Pretending to read labels on

Packages of food I would never

Buy.

I felt myself spinning and things

Were getting black like midnight.

Suddenly things turned to a different

Shade of red.

I call it

Anger.

And it was blowing out every

Orifice of my fragile body.

My first thought,

‘’Oh my God, that poor woman

They are talking about. She might

NEVER be able to voice herself.’’

I collect my steps as I carefully

Watch them

Putting two tiny feet forward

While approaching woman #1

I am almost out of breath and

I’m struggling to find words

To put to the hysterical thoughts

I have developed.

I no longer choose to choke.

I swallow and open my mouth,

The mouth my disease has spent

So long

Shut tight

On lock down.

NO MORE!

I have to be her voice!
I have to be my voice!
I have to be the voice
That they may never
HEAR!

Spit.

Stand.

Attack.

I say,
‘’Excuse me but I over heard
your conversation’’

Woman # 1,
‘’Yah, so?’’

Me,
‘’Well it made me’’
Pause
‘’Angry, very angry’’

Woman # 2,
‘’What do you care?’’

I say,
‘’This is a public place and
You two were talking very loud.
I care because people have eating
Disorders and …’’

Woman # 2,
Cuts me off
‘’It’s none of your business’’

As they both walk off in shock
That someone had the courage
To find their balls and spit them
Into their unfriendly faces.


Me,
I will not stand-alone.
I walk with them.
‘’ I care because I am an eating
disorder activist and people
are allowed to wear whatever
they want, no matter what their
body size is or isn’t’’

(For those of you that don't know,
I am a BIG supporter of the fat positive movement)

They start laughing as if

They find humor in the fact that

People with eating disorders are

Suffering

Fighting to live

Fighting for self acceptance

Fighting for freedom from

People like them.

They walk away

But that does not stop me.

I continue to scream the

Words out loud

That a majority of this

Population

Is afraid to say.

(But I know they think of it)


‘’ I
Will
Not
Surrender
My
Voice
To
You
I
Will
Not
Be
Silenced’’

And out came the riot

Straight from the mouth of a

100lb boy that looks more like a

Girl in a tightened hot pink tee shirt

That reads,

‘’The Go Gos, Our Lips Are Sealed’’

They are speechless and so is the rest of

The grocery store.

I have caused a

Chaotic commotion.

People around me don’t know whether to

Envy me or thank me.

Everyone that was witness

Are left with the sounds of a voice

That will no longer remain

Unspoken.

-

In my car

I am driving out of the parking lot

In a puddle of tears.

I am crying because

That girl could have been

Me

You

Any of us.

I am rejoicing because

That girl had the courage

To wear a shirt that showed

A stomach that hangs out.

A stomach that is unexceptable

To modern day society

The society I am trying to

Break free

From boundaries, boxes, limits,

Stereotypes, judgment, expectations,

Hate.

Attention:

I cannot save the world

But I can speak my voice until it

Amplifies

This entire mother-fucking nation

And

Ain’t nobody going to stop me.

Copyright Johnny Giovanni Righini 2006

I really hate when people do that...and not just to fat people....anyone that is different from "them" is subject to this sort of "abuse". Its a cowardly way to live life. I pity those people that can't embrace our differences and who won't accept us as we are.

I can mostly ignore the crap, but it is starting to really bother my little boy when we're out in public and total strangers make rude remarks just within earshot. It doesn't matter that he knows those folks must be really stupid, it hurts his 'lil 9 yo feelings that anyone would talk about his mom that way. And it hurts me that I'm not perfect enough to save him the pain of dealing with MY weight.

Nobody can be perfect for everyone. Just turn on the news and you'll see how imperfect everyone is. I think if you are a great mother, you are perfect for your son. That perfection is a whole lot better than being perfect for a stranger any day.

It seems that children are often more mature than adults when it comes to acceptance of our differences. Talk to your son and come up with a game plan for dealing with stupid people. You can choose to ignore or, my personal favorite, walk by them smiling and say something nice like, "thank you for noticing me today" or "you have a lovely accent when you are talking about things you haven't a clue." You kinda get the sacasism with a smile. My mama always told me to kill them with kindness. I like to throw in some sarcasm where I can.

I can do sarcasm well, but I drip venom VERY sweetly. And I sharpen my teeth every morning, the better to smile at idiots. My kid just hasn't learned the trick yet.

It's just a matter of time before they will develop the habit.

I get mad at myself when I try to change myself for people who laugh and put me down for the way I look, Instead of wanting to change for myself. It is hard to let it roll of your back.
But I look at it this way they will get payed back later in life.

KEEP POSITIVE AND LOVE YOURSELF BECAUSE EVERYONE IS IMPORTANT!!!!!!!!!!!

I have a different type of disease, one alot of people hate.
I try to hide it, only letting a few know.
Some people just can't except others for who they are.
But thats okay, i just go deeper away.
I can do bad all by myself.
an alcoholic,
probally at the wrong website

I second that emotion.....

You're seeing this all wrong. You are seeking out a girl who has had to deal with alcoholism and chooses not to go through with that again. Does she not have the right to make the decision of who and what she wants to deal with in her life?

You are right, I will just let it go.
I guess I just get obsessive sometimes when people are kind to me.
of course she has every right to choose, so I didn't mean any harm.
Didn't mean to scare anyone
One less thing to worry about anyway.
Thanks for the straight shot.
Your words are appreciated,
now I am obsessed with you
joking.

We're allllll obsessed with her. Get in back of me boy.

Can't know where to start.
Or where to finish, me so confused.
Everybody loves her, she is nice.
I have to see things other than from my point of view,
I see where she is coming from.
thanks for getting in back of me, girl