So.... it's an age-old question but still a good one.
A close friend is dating someone who doesn't seem to be good for her/him. Do you say something? If so, how much??
The question is inspired by a chat I had with a friend last night. I told her I hadn't liked the way a certain someone had treated her but kept my mouth shut. True, I had initially said, "Why did he do that?" and had never praised the particular action, but my thought had been.... "she's gotta see this for herself" and ... "I could be wrong".
So basically I didn't say much.
Anyway, your thoughts??? What would you do?
Full Version: Thumbs Down
Personal experience talking here...
LOVE IS BLIND..and when you're in love, you're stupid.
So your friends always see the things that you overlook.
I wouldn't be too critical because then she'd be on the defensive,
but maybe just casually mention that he's a toad sucking loser.
LOVE IS BLIND..and when you're in love, you're stupid.
So your friends always see the things that you overlook.
I wouldn't be too critical because then she'd be on the defensive,
but maybe just casually mention that he's a toad sucking loser.
What a thought provoking question - where in the world do you come up with them???
I have to say I have been on both sides of the fence also... Only thing you can do is be there to support them... hopefully she will eventually realize the truth...
That's just my
I have to say I have been on both sides of the fence also... Only thing you can do is be there to support them... hopefully she will eventually realize the truth...
That's just my
Well...if you've got FACTS, share them with her. If it's just opinion, remember that you might be wrong. Or at least not be able to justify yourself.
I do think LOVE... or the idea of love can definitely blind people.
Support to a friend... that's always a blessing.
And absolutely... Facts are important, never hearsay.
But what about opinion? gut feeling? Or... what about the idea that people only learn what they live?
If your friend (he or she) is so smitten with someone, so caught up with their "love"... will they listen to what you have to say or are you wasting your breath?
Just throwing ideas out there...
Your thoughts??? I'd like to get guys' opinions too... Do you say something if you don't like your buddy's new girlfriend?
Support to a friend... that's always a blessing.
And absolutely... Facts are important, never hearsay.
But what about opinion? gut feeling? Or... what about the idea that people only learn what they live?
If your friend (he or she) is so smitten with someone, so caught up with their "love"... will they listen to what you have to say or are you wasting your breath?
Just throwing ideas out there...
Your thoughts??? I'd like to get guys' opinions too... Do you say something if you don't like your buddy's new girlfriend?
QUOTE(Jeanne @ Oct 16 2007, 07:34 PM) [snapback]165089[/snapback]
So.... it's an age-old question but still a good one.
A close friend is dating someone who doesn't seem to be good for her/him. Do you say something? If so, how much??
The question is inspired by a chat I had with a friend last night. I told her I hadn't liked the way a certain someone had treated her but kept my mouth shut. True, I had initially said, "Why did he do that?" and had never praised the particular action, but my thought had been.... "she's gotta see this for herself" and ... "I could be wrong".
So basically I didn't say much.
Anyway, your thoughts??? What would you do?
A close friend is dating someone who doesn't seem to be good for her/him. Do you say something? If so, how much??
The question is inspired by a chat I had with a friend last night. I told her I hadn't liked the way a certain someone had treated her but kept my mouth shut. True, I had initially said, "Why did he do that?" and had never praised the particular action, but my thought had been.... "she's gotta see this for herself" and ... "I could be wrong".
So basically I didn't say much.
Anyway, your thoughts??? What would you do?
Well, from personal experience...the time I did say something, the person stopped talking to me for several months. So from that point on, if I don't agree with a person my friend is seeing...I keep my mouth shut and be supportive and let them know I'll be there for them regardless of my feelings.
A close friend is dating someone who doesn't seem to be good for her/him. Do you say something? If so, how much??
hmm thats a tough question.... but ill tell you how i handle it when it comes up.. i tell the person what i know to be a fact and only offer an opinion if they ask (and im quick to tell them to remember that they asked and its only my opinion) and warn them to watch out for red flags... ill always be there even if i dont like the person they are with and ill always be supportive and they can always talk to me about anything... ive lost a two friends using this method..( and i found out the hard way those two werent really friends to begin with) but by far ive kept my real friends using this method.. hope this helps solve your dilemma...
angŪ
hmm thats a tough question.... but ill tell you how i handle it when it comes up.. i tell the person what i know to be a fact and only offer an opinion if they ask (and im quick to tell them to remember that they asked and its only my opinion) and warn them to watch out for red flags... ill always be there even if i dont like the person they are with and ill always be supportive and they can always talk to me about anything... ive lost a two friends using this method..( and i found out the hard way those two werent really friends to begin with) but by far ive kept my real friends using this method.. hope this helps solve your dilemma...
angŪ
QUOTE(Jeanne @ Oct 17 2007, 12:47 AM) [snapback]165120[/snapback]
I do think LOVE... or the idea of love can definitely blind people.
Support to a friend... that's always a blessing.
And absolutely... Facts are important, never hearsay.
But what about opinion? gut feeling? Or... what about the idea that people only learn what they live?
If your friend (he or she) is so smitten with someone, so caught up with their "love"... will they listen to what you have to say or are you wasting your breath?
Just throwing ideas out there...
Your thoughts??? I'd like to get guys' opinions too... Do you say something if you don't like your buddy's new girlfriend?
Support to a friend... that's always a blessing.
And absolutely... Facts are important, never hearsay.
But what about opinion? gut feeling? Or... what about the idea that people only learn what they live?
If your friend (he or she) is so smitten with someone, so caught up with their "love"... will they listen to what you have to say or are you wasting your breath?
Just throwing ideas out there...
Your thoughts??? I'd like to get guys' opinions too... Do you say something if you don't like your buddy's new girlfriend?
I think it depends on the sort of person your friend is and on how you express your opinion. Say it in a way that doesn't make your friend feel defensive and let him or her know that you're there for them no matter what. Even if they don't "hear" you, it might plant a little seed in the back of their mind so they pay more attention to future behavior.
Damn, I can't believe I missed this one. I agree with Dee, how the hell do you come up with these questions?
It does absolutely no good to say anything. All it does it create walls that take longer to tear down than it took to build the friendship. And sometimes the friendship just isn't right again after.
So, be as supportive as you can, turn your head as much as possible, and try not to hold it against them when they're being the dictionary picture of your version of stupid.
It does absolutely no good to say anything. All it does it create walls that take longer to tear down than it took to build the friendship. And sometimes the friendship just isn't right again after.
So, be as supportive as you can, turn your head as much as possible, and try not to hold it against them when they're being the dictionary picture of your version of stupid.
QUOTE(Tiffy @ Aug 15 2008, 07:37 PM) [snapback]190317[/snapback]
I agree with Dee, how the hell do you come up with these questions?
They are inspired in some way. Either I'll read an article or hear something on the radio, often they're based on a conversation (private or in the chat room). Just depends on the moment. In fact I have a topic I'll be posting this weekend. I've been mulling it over for a few days, based on a conversation with a co-worker. So the answer is... they're all inspired.
QUOTE(Tiffy @ Aug 15 2008, 07:37 PM) [snapback]190317[/snapback]
try not to hold it against them when they're being the dictionary picture of your version of stupid.
Hormones have probably made most of us stupid at one point or another...
QUOTE(~Tracy~ @ Aug 15 2008, 09:00 PM) [snapback]190324[/snapback]
Hormones have probably made most of us stupid at one point or another...
Ain't nuttin worse than a hormonal woman, I tell ya.
QUOTE(~Tracy~ @ Aug 15 2008, 07:00 PM) [snapback]190324[/snapback]
Hormones have probably made most of us stupid at one point or another...
I probably resemble that remark
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